The fairly minor one is that the book shows an ignorance of teenagers and of teenage pop culture that is simply mind-blowing. No, there are two things that elevate this book into the realm of the desperately memorable, one fairly minor and one gigantic. Nor is the sentence-by-sentence writing, although it has a great many color words for people's eyes and hair which do not, actually, occur in nature. I mean, what do you think happens? The girl goes out with the protagonist, the evil guy is publicly proven to kick puppies, the girl's father who has been unjustly kept from seeing her in the school play is allowed in to watch her at the very last moment.Īt any rate, the plot is not what makes this book really amazing, and amazingly bad. But he gets the lead in the school play opposite her and wacky hijinks ensue and oh god this whole thing is too dumb to keep summarizing. He almost certainly kicks puppies premeditatedly. Ever.īut, oh woe! Their social strata are not only Too Separate, there is another guy who likes her. Because uh she has black hair which means she must be dark despite being the nicest, sweetest, sunniest person anybody has ever met. From that point on, in a beautiful example of Overexaggerated Inappropriate Capitalization, he thinks of her (for the entire rest of the book) as his Dark Angel. So they Meet Cute and they Fall In Love At First Sight, but they don't actually talk, because their social strata are Too Separate.
Crazy beautiful book upgrade#
And she thinks the protagonist's eyes are "the color of topaz", except that she also thinks they're "the color of mahogany", which means that she may need to upgrade her internal color words dictionary somewhat. uh, what was the color-word? Oh, yeah, eyes "the color of the serene ocean". Did you miss the symbolism? In case you missed it, allow me to inform you that her father calls her 'princess' and that she has Cinderella wallpaper. Her name is- please note the upcoming subtle symbolism- Aurora Belle. Nope! Total normality or straitjackets forever!Īnd on the bus to school on the first day he meets A Girl. You know, like you do, when apparently there are no social services curious about why a teenage boy might blow up his house and what his state of mind might have been at the time, and when no one apparently has even asked him what was going through his head. His parents have merely placed him in a new school and informed him that if he does anything to make them mad ever, ever again they are shipping him off to an institution for the criminally insane FOREVER AND EVER. Of course, no one has offered him any counseling for this. This would be because he started an explosion which blew off both his arms, indicating somewhat that they all have a point. Because everyone there thinks he's crazy. Because he can't stay at the old school any longer. The protagonist, Lucius Wolfe (Note Subtly Symbolic Last Name), is entering a new high school as a sophomore. There are so many amazing things about it. It is difficult to know where to start with this book. As it is difficult to send an iced cake through the mail and not have it turn into a mass of crumbs and goo, I have read this impressively terrible book in your honor- a book which honestly, in my opinion, also turns into a mass of crumbs and goo, but at least an entertaining one, although with less chocolate.
Happy birthday, rachelmanija! I hope it was a wonderful day, and I hope it leads into a wonderful year. I knew, when octopedingenue sent it to me, that I was saving this book for a special occasion.